Why homeschooling?

Why homeschooling?…..This is a long story, but I will try to condense it without leaving out any important info.

We had our son in Catholic school from k-2nd.   We had no way to pay for it, (3700.00 full price for a year,we were blessed and paid 2,700 with the tuition assistance program.  We may have made it ok, but along with that and many repairs on our old house we struggled financialy and were behind on all of our bills for 3 years) but we didn’t want him in public school because we wanted him taught to center his life around our Catholic faith.  We wanted him to see other kids and teachers living our faith, so that this would help him have strong roots that were faith based.  We wanted him to see others doing this also, so he would feel like mom and dad aren’t the only ones who are trying to live according to the Catholic Church.  (like he may have felt in a public school where praying and faith groups are not allowed) We met some really good families, kids and educators.  Some families we are still close to.  The teachers were great also.

What we did start to have a problem with were the type of families that were there for the prestige of private school and who were part-time Catholics or even not at all.  

We ran into parents who would say stuff like “You go to daily Mass…..how time consuming, my kids are lucky if I go on Sunday…I mean…that’s my day!  Plus, they go with their class twice a week anyway…they get it enough.”  I was shocked to find that there were several families that chimed in and said, “yep…us too”.  Then there were the fundraisers and all the get togethers and parties.  I found myself glued to one or two friends that weren’t heavily drinking or heavily gossiping.  I even heard a few about me because I dressed so frumpy, and had “no sense of style”. As if I had chosen my wardrobe on purpose!  LOL…..With my modesty values and a budget that only allows me to shop at thrift stores on HALF price days…..now that’s living frugal! With our budget, I don’t get many choices, I just get what’s available in a skirt and in my size.

I can’t forget about the time when had his First Communion, one of the happiest day for all of us, I mean it ranks up there with our wedding, and the births of our children!

I had made small talk with a parent and said, ” So, how was the big day for you guys?  Did you have a good day of celebration?”  They replied “uuhhh, I am just happy it’s over!  I mean, the it was all so time consuming with the prep classes and all, and then the Mass was so long I could barely stand it.  When we got home I let my kids stay in their rooms with the tv and playstation the rest of the day while I had a few drinks.”   This was monumental to me.  I began to almost panic after realizing that this was one of the parents to one of kids that was in the “click” that had already started.  There  was a group of kids that were very influential on the whole class and bullying had already began.  My son struggled as he tried to shrug off being called weak or weird.  He got laughed at when he was teased for not pushing back when kids would push him or tease him.  When I asked him why he didn’t act the same way to them, he said ” cause you guys(mom and dad) and Jesus taught me not to.” My husband had began to have to fight the urge to tell him to fight back after a few other incidents.  It began to be obvious that the opposite of what I wanted to happen in school was happening.  I feared that my son would think that they are Catholic too, this must be ok. I feared his faith would become more like a social status front.  I felt like this maybe the year he begins to loose some of the gift of innocence God gave him. I thought he would have to grow up to quick to face the negatives of this world by having to be faced with peer pressure at such a young age.

I feared when he got to the upper grades that he would be alienated more once kids became aware of that we are in a lower income bracket(mostly wealthy families in private school) or teased that we are a family trying to be very devout and take church teaching very seriously.  How sad would it be to for us to suffer so much for the cost of his education, to find that…that very choice caused him to loose his faith and have so much pain. I want him to be around kids that love their faith too, does that make me weird?

Now all this is true, but I have good stories too.

Mothers throwing me a surprise baby shower to help with some of the needs we couldn’t afford. (I was pregnant with his sister in kindergarten) Some of the boys that he is still friends with that stuck up for him sometimes.  They were picked on also so they stuck up for each other sometimes.   Some real great teachers that inspired us in our faith.  A charitable Principal that is a nun who helped us with tuition assistance and was always telling us what a good boy we had.  We had good times to, this is what made it really hard to leave and say goodbye.   It was the scariest decision I had ever made.  I couldn’t have done it with out Eucharistic Adoration and submitting to his Holy Will.   More….to come, kids are in there chanting BREAKFAST, BREAKFAST!…..

Part 2

Ok, with all above being said, I don’t want to leave the wrong impression. I loved many things about his school.  The Mothers club was great and supportive, the education was great and we had some great times. But all and all I feel this is the right decision for our family. Another big red flag went up when we were always rushed it seemed.  I had to work part time to pay for the private school. So I worked days and hubby was home with the baby while my son was in school. He worked nights while I was home with the kids.  This was the right thing for us to do so that we could keep our kids out of daycare. But its was hard and neither my husband or I likedit. It was a major sacrifice, and terrible for a marriage. But we did it for the kids.  So with one car 2 separate work shifts, school, soccer, baseball, choir, dinner, errands…and don’t forget…put it on a stickey note…enjoy one another and have fun with your kids!

That didn’t happen all that much.  We were up at dawn and a typical day went like this:

wake up-  rush, yell, rush

out the door- speed, sit in traffic

All day-Work, school,worry, traffic, home

After school/work-sports, homework, dinner, clean house

Night time-Bath then kids in bed and more house work.

After all this we were lucky to get 30minutes of alone quality time with the kids. 

He got about 8-9 hours with his peers and other adults.   Who do you think had the most amount of time with him to shape his little soul?  His friends.

If that doesn’t scare a parent in this day and age I don’t know what will.  Our culture is saturated with sex, drugs, vanity,  win at all cost, self absorbed, latch key kids, tv dumbheads and gammer heads. All the violence in tv, games and lack of parenting…. This hit me like a truck and for months I was panicked, weepy and scared. It’s no wonder school shootings, teen pregnancy and abortion happen all the time now, and it makes me wonder…….

What ever happened to carving on a stick, building a house of cards or spending all day running through the near by creek?  These days that just isn’t safe anymore, but neither is keeping them cooped up with Tv, xbox, Ipods and the internet!

With so little time with our kids when we have these types of schedules, we contribute to the destruction and breakdown of the family structure.  Husbands are tired and feel neglected, because the wife is tired and feels neglected.  Then the kids feel overstimulated and neglected by parents…..but accepted by peers. This leads to them feeling like their friends are their real family…and they listen to them more than the parents.

This is where I started getting that sick feeling in the pit of my gut, as if I were about to witness a train wreck. 

So, I started to pray about it.  God, show me your will…not my will…not anymore. Help me, help my husband and children live to please you and attain a life of glory in your kingdom.  Please, show me the way and I will obey. No matter how scary it will be. I can not serve this worldly life and you at the same time. Give me the grace to choose and serve you.  Jesus, I trust in you, I trust in you.

part 3 to come